Amal Nahurriyeh

Title: Raise It Up
Author: Amal Nahurriyeh (amalnahurriyeh)
Summary: This is a gift. It comes with a price. Fox Mulder, Oct 13, 1961-March 7, 2033.
Genre: ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST. AU.
Rating: PG-13 (adult themes, references to sex, drugs, and rock and roll)
Warnings: Not a spoiler if it's the summary: Character death.
Angst Level: High.
Universe: Mulder-containing.
Disclaimer: Intellectual property is a capitalist fiction designed to oppress the working fic-writer. That said, I don't own them either.

Author's Notes:

Remember how I was writing stories about how Casey came back to the future? This is one of them. However, it's something bigger than that, as well. I should make exceptionally clear that I don't consider this Caseyverse Canon - BTTF 1 is the canon-est one. Insofar as there is canon for a project like this.

Thanks to memories_child for the beta work.

Vaguely a songfic for Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up), by Florence and the Machine. Title, epigraph, etc. Video here. Also owes a debt of tone, if not meaning, to Linda Blair Was Born Innocent, by the Mountain Goats. View it live on YouTube here. I'm happy to upload them if anyone wants them,

There's a joke in here that only makes sense if you've seen this sculpture. This view of it in particular.

Excessively Personal Author's Notes:

I started this story in January, when I wanted to die.

In May, when I was nearly finished it, my father dropped dead of a heart attack.

My father was an amazing man. He was funny, he was the nicest person anybody's ever known, he was passionate and creative and so endlessly loving. He was the parent I try to be.

And I am still the little girl who drew pictures of herself roaring with him in preschool.

***

I start spinning slipping out of time
Was that the wrong pill to take (raise it up)
You made a deal, and now it seems you have to offer up
But will it ever be enough

-Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up), Florence and the Machine

( Mulder poured his coffee and considered his plans. )